A time to remember our loved ones on Nov.1
Chiqui Brosas on Oct 31 2007 at 2:29 pm | Filed under: General
It was great that October 26, Monday, was election day for the Barangay leaders in the Philippines. It was a holiday. Since the schools were also in mid term vacation, that gave me a chance to go to the cemetery to visit my beloved husband instead of All Saints Day on November 1.
Ralph passed away four years ago due to tongue cancer. We miss him so much! I’m greatful that God has been faithful to us all these years. He has always provided for us and we have never been in want. My children are good inspite of my raising them up alone and I feel they appreciate me for all the sacrifices I do for them. It’s been a challenging journey for me, tiring but rewarding. i would not have been able to go through this alone. Thank God for family and friends!
Rosette, my youngest, was the most excited to visit her Dad. She was so proud of him and introduced him to our helper and a friend who came with us. I think she feels short changed that her older sister Rachel remembers her dad while she has no recollection of him. She amoung all of the rest of my kids, I feel, long most for a father. I can tell because when we have male visitors, like the friends of her older brothers, she loves to get close to them and to sit on their lap.
Anyway All Saints Day on November 1 in North Cemetery is very crowded! We have to park far and walk far to get to the mausoleum of the Dungo family where my husband Ralph is also barried. So visiting him early was a treat! There was no traffic and we were able to bring the car all the way inside. We bought flowers and arranged them in a vase for him and his two grand parents.
I don’t really like visiting the cemetery. I believe we ought to celebrate rather than mourn for our loved ones. They are in a better place than us. They will not be aware of our visiting them anyway. I think it is better to remember our loved ones in our minds and most especially in our hearts. That counts the most.
When I die, I’ve told my kids to cremate my body. No need of a funeral service. It’s too costly for the grieving family, time consuming and unnecesary. No one really likes to go to funerals, I think it’s more of an obligation and for show. We can show our respect and greeting for the family in other ways, like give a donation (which I’m sure they will appreciate more than the flowers), mail them a card, drop them a note, call them up, say prayers for the family who were left behind, visit them in their home to see how they are doing…They could have a one day service in memory of me if they want but not really necessary.
I’ve told my kids to throw my ashes in Taal lake. They could hire a banca or boat and throw me in the middle of the lake. Why there? Because nobody swims there and it is the most practical place. It is near Manila. I’ve told them to celebrate Nov.1 in the restaurant where they could feast and celebrate and remember me. Or they could also rotate dinner or lunch every year in their homes. I would actually much rather they celebrate my birthday June 21 than November 1 or my death day.
I’m a very practical person. I really think we ought to live for the living and go on with our lives. Be happy that our loved ones have moved on to a better life.
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